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“This is actually a banana in my pocket, I’m not that pleased to see you,” says Simmo as he arrives at the Autodrome for testing. He points to a hard yellow object protruding from his pocket.
It’s late February and unseasonably cold and fresh: 17 degrees as I drive into the paddock for an 8am start. I’m suffering a little with the tail-end of a flu and wondering if I will cope with cabin temperatures this weekend.
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The focus in on set up today – we’re running the International Circuit, a favourite of mine and one where we think the orange TNT and MSW liveried Porsche will be competitive. Alex and the team have discovered a couple of shavings in the gearbox giving us a little cause for concern, but we’ll see how the car behaves today and then decide whether to change the gearbox before tomorrow’s race.
Time for a stroll down the line-up of exotica awaiting scrutineering. Some of the cars are less exotic than others but no less interesting. Most interesting of all for those who like a good underdog story is the ancient Porsche 944 of Australian, Steve Adams. Finished in battleship grey, with shutlines you could send small boys down to recover lost footballs, and exaggerated bolted-on wheel arches, it looks like it took a wrong turn at La Sarthe circa 1991 and slipped through a rip in the time-space continuum to end up in Dubai 2011.
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“There’s life in the old girl yet”, says Steve Adams with a gleam in his eye, as I sit in his cockpit examining the sliver of home-cut carbon fibre across the dashboard. A handy spannerman himself, he’s carefully plumbed in an impressive bank of fuses within reach of the driver’s seat, no doubt so he can indulge in a spot of recreational soldering whilst he’s driving. In his self-deprecating style, he says he’ll be holding up the back of the grid but he’s hustling as usual. Paul and I think he’ll be capable of a podium place in his Millennium Falcon. The supercharged 944 is a perennial dark horse and Steve is wily and skilled at the wheel. The rest of the grid would be foolish to write him off. Hopefully he’ll be competitive enough to make a nuisance of himself around the Maseratis and KTMs leading the GTC pack.
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Paul sets a scarcely believable 1:45.2 in only his second flying lap in qualifying. Jaws drop in the Gulfsport garage. Team principal Barry Hope is transfixed on the timing screens. Even his championship leading driver, Robert Cregan, is a second and a half off pole in the all-conquering Maserati. With the additional 35 seconds pit stop handicap handed to Robert as a result of his continuing dominance of GTC, his task will be all the harder this weekend.
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Robert and I are front row of the GTC pack. As always, he gets a good start from the lights – I have the inside line on pole but it’s not enough to hold him off into turn 1. He’s already turning in a car length in front and I can’t risk contact at this early stage. Even if I get past now, I doubt I can hold him off on the long back straight. Behind me, the following KTM of Saad Salman and Ginetta of Joe Ghanem are tussling for position, but by the back straight of the first lap, Robert and I are already pulling a lead on the chasing GTC pack.
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Jon Simmonds’ retina-searing yellow Porsche is just in front of Robert. Once Simmo settles, he should be able to pull a lead on the two chasing GTC cars.
I am surprised to find myself braking later and harder than Robert – he’s clearly not braking as well as usual (new pads?), and I almost go into the back of him a couple of times. It’s unusual to find the Gulfsport Maserati holding me up and Robert makes himself big through each corner, taking a defensive line as I shadow his every move for the first five laps. As a result, our lap times are nowhere close to qualifying pace, and we may be degrading the tyres at a rate that won’t make Paul happy when he takes over from me at the halfway stage.
Eventually I pass Robert in the braking zone at the end of the back straight turning into the hairpin and focus my thoughts on putting in a few quick laps – see if I can pull any distance on the Maserati.
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But a spin in front from Simmo in the GTB Porsche means that when he catches back up with the two GTC cars, Simmo and I tiptoe around each other in a comedy of errors. You can almost hear the formality of the thought process.
“After you, good buddy!”
“No after you, old chap!” The two MSW-sponsored Porsches simultaneously turn in to the tight uphill right hander under the management building, in a seemingly carefully choreographed dance routine. Please God don’t let me wipe Simmo out as he passes through.
In a comical effort not to hamper the other’s chances, Cregan grabs the perfect opportunity to squeeze through and retake P1. “We were desperate not to trip over each other,” concedes Simmo. We forgot the golden rule of the UAE GT Championship – “We Make Race”!
Robert starts to pull away, and I realise that twenty minutes of aggressive attempts to overtake or defensive lines whilst in front have mangled the tyres. Er, sorry about that Paul. With five minutes remaining until the pit window opens, the sensible thing to do is ease off and let the tyres come back, but keep the Maserati in the crosshairs: at the pit stop we will have a 35 second advantage, so a top spot is very much on the cards.
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Besides, I’m sweating buckets right now and I can feel my breathing is laboured and heart rate is up. Sweating the fever out has probably done me no harm at all, and I think the adrenalin helped me to stay sharp in the opening laps. Every now and then my left contact lens gets dislodged temporarily as sweat pours down my balaclava and I’m forced to blink rapidly to force it back in place. The pit stop is a relief.
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In the end, the tyres don’t prove critical when Paul jumps in. As I stand in the pit garage watching the screens, I hear the announcement of a crash over the tannoy but I’m struggling to hear the details. Paul has only had time to put in a handful of quick laps and I’m wondering if he’s involved as the cars begin to circulate at the mandatory 60kph.
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It turns out Saad Salman has hit the wall at turn 16 after an altercation with John Iossifidis’s Aston GT4. There is concern in the pits as his car returns from the circuit on the back of a flat-bed in poor shape. The orange Sayel Racing KTM is a forlorn sight. Saad’s pride and joy has a back left wheel hanging off and some body damage at the rear. For a moment, the heart skips a beat as we are told Saad has gone for a medical. We’ve seen this happen once too many times but thankfully team-mate Jordan Grogor confirms all is well and I return to the ARM garage to focus on Paul’s progress.
Perversely, the Code 60 allows us to nurse a car which must be suffering by now – the gearbox needs a rest and the tyres weren’t in the best shape anyway. Robert retires shortly after the pit stop with brake problems proving insurmountable, and Paul only has to circulate at a brisk rather than balls out pace to bring the car home in P1.
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P1. You would think I would be dancing for joy but my overriding emotion is one of relief: it’s been too long coming and I was beginning to wonder if we had it in us. The handicap system has certainly worked in our favour today, but I’m pleased that we put up a good fight with Robert’s Maserati in the first half. Naturally his retirement is a disappointing end to what could have been a close finish.
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As for Steve: for a good few laps he was very much in contention for a podium spot, overtaking David Field’s Maserati which went on to score its maiden podium. It turns out a fuse dislodged itself during the race bringing the car to a halt on the outside of turn 16: told you to keep a soldering iron in the car, Steve!
