BMW vs Audi vs Mercedes. The Magic Number

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We stop to top up with fuel before heading out of town, and I jump into the Audi. The interior is again familiar to anyone that’s driven cars from Ingolstadt over the past five years, but it’s rock solid to the touch. I struggle to think of anyone short of the top-end luxury manufacturers that make better quality cabins than Audi, and this model is no exception. The optional Comfort Sport seats are curious – they feel hard and thin, but aren’t as supportive as the BMW’s pews. They’re not mounted as low as in the 335i, but are far from being too high. Still, as industrial landscape starts to fade into sand dunes, I’m very chilled out. Wind noise is minimal and the latest MMI infotainment system hooks up to my iPhone music library via Bluetooth and pumps classic rock hits to the excellent sound system (hey, I like classic rock. OK?). Composure is the A4’s middle name; it feels utterly planted, all the time. The ride is definitely stiffer than the BMW, but still well within comfortable parameters.

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We head north and inland, towards the new road connecting the Sharjah-Kalba road with Fujairah. Speed cameras have been newly installed on what was once prime speed test territory, so we have to keep things sensible. But nevertheless, opinions are starting to form as we swap once again.

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McGovern’s similarly impressed with the tactility and feeling of the Audi’s interior. “The steering wheel in the BMW feels like it’s made of plastic,” he says. “The Audi’s feels like proper leather. The ride and the handling are both very Quattro in the Audi. Some might say boring, but I say it’s just excellent. The BMW has great steering feel but the primary ride is very floppy even in Sport mode. The delivery is great, a typical old-school linear shove.”

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I’m impressed with the directness of the steering in the BMW. It’s fast and the nose has been quick to respond on the few corners we’ve encountered so far. It is a touch light though. The Audi’s wheel, though not as direct, feels hefty and solid. Much like the cabin, in fact.

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Visually, the A4 also looks great, especially in red with the big (optional) RS five-spoke alloys on. It’s taut and understated but really stylish with crisp lines running down the side. James, however, thinks it looks a bit dull. He’s more taken by the BMW, followed by the Merc. For my money, the Mercedes doesn’t looks as contemporary as its rivals. Perhaps age is starting to tell; despite the facelift it’s had in 2012, with new lights and a revised grille, the silhouette is largely the same as it’s been since 2007. That said, being the only black car between two red ones does it no favours.

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It’s not bad inside though. After a period where the once legendary Mercedes interiors really dropped in quality, things are back on the up again. The seats are mounted too high, but the switches and touch point all feel solid. Not as solid as the bulletproof Audi, but a little better than the rather plasticky BMW components.

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On the road, as we finish our cruise, the C350 proves to be pretty darn good. The ride is maybe the best here – not as wallowy as in the BMW, nor too stiff as in the Audi. It’s Goldilocks’ porridge when it comes to knocking off the kilometres: just right.

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Enough mile-munching though, it’s time to see what our collection is like when pushed a little harder. Midway towards Fujairah we turn off the main road and, before long, discover a fantastic collection of twisting, winding and open roads that rise and fall between rock-strewn sand. There’s no one else around. Time for some fun. I stay in the C350, press the buttons marked Sport and M for manual. Fingers on paddles, I start threading the Mercedes between apexes. It’s all third and second gear corners, and the reaction of the C350 is… acceptable. It’s by no means incapable; the steering is confident, the balance neutral. Carrying speed into a corner results in slight understeer that melds into oversteer when getting on the power. It’ll remain very composed unless pushed really hard, but when reflecting on its performance, words like ‘competent’ and ‘stable’ come to mind, not ‘exciting’ or ‘fun’. It performs well; the V6 is strong and pulls really nicely, but there’s a sharpness lacking from the throttle and the gearbox feels unhurried, with a noticeable breath between paddle pull and action. It does the job that’s needed, but not much more than that.