Drivers Blog // Harris Irfan // Mixed Feelings

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Mixed feelings. How else does one describe the start of this season. Why do we do this? Why do we race?

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Not so long ago, we mourned the passing of one of our brightest stars, Christophe Hissette, and on that day I promised myself I would take it easy, maybe wind down my racing “career”, such as it is. Perhaps I would no longer bring my boy to watch me race, lest he get the bug like me and decide to forgo a life of solidity tempered with stoic resignation, a life that human beings should aspire to: forever to remain comfortably ensconced behind a blue chip nine to five desk, the certificate from a respectable university framed on his office wall, silver cufflinks lovingly dressed by his devoted wife, 2.4 kids jumping into his arms when he gets home.

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Instead here I am again, back to snort a primeval adrenaline fix after six months of cold turkey. And the boy will be here too. Back to clamber over the side bar of a roll cage, toy socket set in hand, dreaming that he too will be behind the wheel one day.

Race day dawns and Dubai’s late October air is suffocating and still, and so very humid.

I stroll trackside out of the pit to bask in the early morning sun and the tranquillity of an empty pit lane, before the frenzy of pit activity begins and the tourists, wives and girlfriends arrive.

The La’s are playing on the tannoy, a twenty year old indie anthem that I first listened to on a local radio station in my student digs. How apt that what some once interpreted as an ode to addiction reminds me of my own addiction. “There she goes again. Racing through my brain. And I just can’t contain this feeling that remains.”

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For a few moments, it’s extraordinarily peaceful. In the distance to the east, water sprinklers arc over the empty grass terraces. The pit lane is deserted and stretches out the other way to the western horizon of turn 1, where the Vortex waits and plots.

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I walk back into the pits to a stark contrast as mechanics furiously rub down their cars with polishing cloths, a hive of activity accompanied by a low pitched hum, punctuated by the machine gun rattle of impact wrenches removing wheels.

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And suddenly the air is shattered by the explosion of a Maserati Granturismo MC firing up. KERBLAM! Gratuitously loud, if it were human it would be gesticulating wildly with its hands whilst talking excitedly in Italian, dressed in a Brioni suit (two button, fitted and hand stitched, narrow lapels below drop six shoulders, natch), and underneath, its natural heavy-set muscularity cut up and stretched taut for the rigours of competition. This should be the ultimate crowd draw – as handsome as Paulo Maldini and loud enough to make your ears bleed. Gulfsport have entered two of these achingly desirable supercars into GTC class and the smart money would be on Robert Cregan taking a class win.

Not if Paul and I have anything to do with it, though. Paul is characteristically dismissive, launching an expletive filled diatribe against cheque book racing. One can hardly blame the cars, though he does have a point. The pre-season media hype has centred around single seater race car champions, 17 year old prodigies and sparkly $200,000 GT4 specials, with not one word that I can recall about the pairing of last year’s number one and number two drivers in an unfashionable seven year old car. We may have the tightest budget on the grid today, (and indeed we barely scrape it to the start line courtesy of our sponsors’ generosity) but that only steels our resolve all the more. If TNT and Motorsport Wheels are looking for a healthy return on their investment, we’re determined to show them their faith was not misplaced.

But talk is cheap. Perhaps I should just shut up.

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Today my nerves are settled because I applied our findings from last Friday’s shakedown in testing yesterday, and found myself running four seconds a lap quicker, putting us quite comfortably ahead of the spangly metal in GTC. In fact, I managed to get within a half second touching distance of Simmo’s new drive, a Motorsports Wheels Porsche 997 Cup running in GTB class, though it must be said racing these rear engined animals for the first time after front engine/rear drive race cars is like being thrown into a physics class conducted in Serbo-Croat. Meanwhile, his new driving partner, Tarek Elgammal, is showing him the ropes, and demonstrating lap times that only an experienced 911 pro can.

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Paul has been playing mind games with the opposition again, telling them we were running a qualifying set up in testing, hence why we were so quick, though in reality our set up today is little changed. Our strategy is to bang out solid but unexciting lap times – instead of the 1:32 I dipped into during testing, we will be happy with a metronomic 1:33 to 1:34. This should ensure the tyres are evenly scrubbed and maintained over the course of an hour. We discover that the tyres degrade quickly over a 40 minute test session, and we must learn to manage that degradation in the heat of a one hour race.

The first driver’s briefing of the new season introduces the old faces (and a couple of new ones) to a new concept: coloured strips on the cars signifying which class we are competing in. So in theory this means we should know when to duel and when to back off. Yeah, right. Tarek Elgammal nods like a simpleton, and in his cheekiest Arabicised pidgin English deadpans loudly, “We make race.” The briefing room erupts with laughter. He’s right. Stuff the class your car falls into, always fight for position – we’re not here for a (very expensive) track day.

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Qualifying is a disaster – Paul exits the pit lane onto the circuit to discover a previously undiscovered pit lane speed limiter is in operation and cannot apparently be cancelled. He tours the circuit once and pulls in to reset the limiter, but the car won’t respond to the throttle. He’s convinced the clutch hydraulics have packed up, though the ARM pit crew reckons the clutch plate is toast, the latter being a much more involved job to fix in time for the race.

A strip down of the clutch and flywheel reveals a bolt has come loose off the flywheel, and the remainder of the day is spent putting the mechanicals back together. It’s a race against the clock and having failed to qualify, we will of course be starting from the back of the grid.

Strangely I find this a welcome challenge and hours before race start, I am already visualising the lights going out and pressing my foot to the bulkhead, concocting the various scenarios for how the race might develop and how we might react accordingly. Paul and I figure if I can get a good start (which has never been much of a problem for either of us), and bang out a couple of quick laps, we can still expect to challenge for P1. Over the course of an hour, we’re pretty confident we have the mental toughness to wear down the front runners in our class and take a podium place.

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Sadly, it is not to be. 5 minutes before race start, the car is dropped from its air jacks, and we turn the ignition to discover the engine is locked tight. For a couple of minutes, the ARM pit crew enforce a strict security cordon around the car as we attempt a push start in the paddock (maybe it’s just the starter?), but no amount of praying and pushing is making a difference. Locked solid.

DNF. Nul points. Do not pass go, do not collect a trophy. Do not answer when your four year old asks why you’re not on the podium.

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And Cregan goes on to win GTC. We’ll get you next time, Gulfsport…