New Audi RS7. FIRST DRIVE

The natural habitat of the RS7 is most definitely not rural Germanian roads. This makes it all the more impressive that it can shift its considerable mass at warp speed while still feeling remarkably composed. It will accelerate from standstill to 100kph in 3.9 seconds and have you cruising at 305kph – if you select the dynamic package plus – while you read the business section of your newspaper. My theory is that this may be to do with the fact it is an Audi quattro, has 560hp and a potent torque rating of 700Nm. It is just a theory though.

The RS7 will blast you along the straights and waft you around corners at a ridiculous velocity while you are picking your nose or removing belly button fluff. Overcook corner entry (which requires attacking at ridiculous velocity plus 20+kph) and understeer does rear its ugly head. This seems logical – if a little unwelcome – considering a large proportion of the RS7s weight is hanging over the front axle. However, jam on the brakes mid-corner and the Audi sorts it out for you and you can get back to unleashing those 700Nm of torques and powering out off the corner like a boss. No stress in the RS baby.

So, Audi have built the bestest fastest car ever? No, not quite. It is not nimble and poised like a sportscar and driving it feels like piloting a remotely operated vehicle. It has a new electromechanical power steering system but still feels artificial and curiously seems to resist self-centring on corner exit. This, however, is not the point of the RS7 and possibly unfair to judge it on these terms.

And this is the thing about modern VAG reality. Audi is no longer Vorsprung durch Technik, it is Vorsprung durch Marketing and that might be why Audi blow hot and cold in the RS range.  Audi in racing, however, is a beautiful marriage so why can’t the RS7 be like that? Like I said, the new Audi quattro RS7 is completely mental. And yet isn’t.