Nissan Juke-R. A Sleeping Monster

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Staring into the dark confines of the scrutineering bay, all I see are two circular fog lights looking back at me. Moving towards me. The black finish is perfect camouflage, and I can see nothing else. Swap the dazzlingly Dubai Autodrome paddock for the morose streets of 1980s Pennsylvania and this could be a scene from ‘Christine’. The whole situation is quite eerie.

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Soon the monster hoves into view and, thankfully, there is somebody driving it. The creature in question is the lesser-spotted Nissan Juke-R and just twenty-four hours after completing its role as course car for the Dubai endurance event, it’s ready for another fifteen minutes of fame in front of the crankandpiston cameras.

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Its sedate crawl into the early morning sun is just a ruse, as our “just over there, thanks” to the driver proves. The sleeping beast awakens, and the 3.8l engine – borrowed from a Nissan GT-R – hammers the car out of view in seconds. Even at idle, the ripped twin turbos growl like a Rottweiler about to strike, and we decide against petting the bonnet.

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This ferocity continues across the bodywork. Hardly subtle to begin with, the Juke now boasts accentuated wheel arches, raised haunches and a split rear wing. That its looks are not to everyone’s tastes is beside the point. Like it or don’t, the Juke-R won’t care. The stare and the growl will be the same either way.