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Hi. Bentley driver here. Yeah, how’s it going? I’ve got a Bentley, you know. These keys? Oh, they’re just for the Bentley. What’s that you want? Oh, I left it in the Bentley. I’ll just go get it. From the Bentley. My Bentley.
Yes, I’ve turned into an insufferable arse. Why? Because I drive a Bentley now. Had I not mentioned that? And the novelty of swanking about in a $200,000 car hasn’t worn off yet. Taking the missus to a restaurant gets my valet-parked car pride of place outside the hotel, and no one has flashed me to get out of the way on the motorway. Fear my alleged wasta!
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On the downside, my wallet is somewhat light thanks to the constant drain on fuel. And from my nagging conscience that requires me to tip much more to valet parkers and the chaps at the gas station. I don’t feel right driving a Bentley and not tipping handsomely. Desperately shouting “it’s really not my car, I’m poor!” doesn’t really fit the image.
Now now, stop your outpouring of sympathy. It’s not really been that bad. I travel in luxury and effortless British style. I’ve grown accustomed to the garish red and maple interior and I love love love the W12 engine and its swelling 600bhp.
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The rest of the office likes it too. Since it arrived, it’s been used for a couple of days by our digital team, and swallowed up their copious amounts of equipment in its cavernous boot. Although they did get a few funny looks turning up at photoshoots in a car nicer than most managing directors’.
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Issues? Yeah, a couple. The ancient Sat Nav system has been hiccuping a bit, at one point telling me I was in the middle of the Arabian Gulf and heading at speed towards Qatar. When I wasn’t. And there’s a wobble developed in the steering. Not a big one – it’s only noticeable on the motorway at about 90kph and above, but it feels like something at the front of the car isn’t as it should be.
Looks like I’ll have to pay a visit to the service centre. In my Bentley.
