Having abandoned all hope of putting my seatbelt on in the FJ 56 without garrotting myself (it’s mounted so far back on the B-Pillar I can barely reach it), my next test is to get the thing moving, once again. Unlike the FJ 55 it shared a chassis and pretty much everything else with (save the more rounded bonnet design), the FJ 56 mated a 138bhp 4.2-litre six-cylinder with a four-speed transmission, the biting point for which is so high that for my first few attempts, I’m convinced the cable has snapped. Changes the gears themselves shouldn’t be too difficult, except perhaps dogleg reverse: if I downshift incorrectly from third I’m likely to fry the engine. In the end, spurred on by the barely controlled amusement of my co-workers, I forego finesse and lift off the clutch altogether, the wheels beginning to roll as I do so, a slight ebb in the revs the nearest I get to stalling.
I’ve stalled. I’ve not had much experience with manual gearboxes – well, I’m 14 – but the biting point for the Land Rover is too high up, and I’m struggling to find a balance with the throttle. Eventually blind luck sends me bunny hopping away into the field, hands gripped tightly about the steering wheel, knuckles whitened…
The Toyota is moving. Turns out though that it’s not the most civilised ‘passenger car’ devised. I can feel the support of the bench seat in my back through the padding, there’s no lumbar support whatsoever, and the taut suspension means the ride is fantastically bumpy: it’s a good job the biting point is so high on the clutch, for if any ‘delicacy’ in this scenario would be impossible. There feels like there is hardly any feel for the brakes at all – they either on or off depending on pressure – and response through the throttle is, I’ll be kind, not the best.
I’ve managed to grind my way into second gear, and we’re starting to pick up speed now that I’ve mashed the throttle with my right foot
But here’s the thing, I’m enjoying it. No, really. There’s not a huge amount of feel through the steering nor even any conviction that it’s connected to the same wheels as the car, but it’s a superbly insane sensation, angling this simple, elegant wheel as if I’m piloting a ferry. It’s an off-road experience I’ve never experienced before, one where precision or ruggedness seem to collapse into ‘meh, let’s just get on with it.’ The 2016 Land Cruiser for instance has already disappeared into a cloud of dust, the occupants no doubt relaxed by the smooth ride. But this right here is starting to feel like an adventure, every input through the wheel, brakes and gears requiring a surprising amount of forethought, all whilst bouncing around the cabin. It’s somehow very difficult to take it all seriously, which, I suppose, is entirely the point…
There’s a wall heading our way quite fast…
We’re not picking up a huge amount of speed, but the sensation is almost tangible now that I’ve managed to get the hang of the gearbox. Even around the corners, I’ve no real faith in the steering, but the grip from the tyres and the suspension means there’s surprisingly little lean, and no real sense of understeer. Through the flick-flack route through the trees, the sheer act of rolling lock-to-lock with power-less assisted steering means the surprisingly nimble Land Cruiser is quickly out of sight. You could not really call this an agile machine
Brake…brake…BRAKE…
Not that it matters. In its day the Model 55 Series was renowned for its durability, the solid build – it’s known as the ‘Iron Pig’ – and toughness: choose any component and you could probably fix it with a hammer, a situation unlikely on the 2016 Land Cruiser or indeed any contemporary 4×4 or SUV. It’s not comfortable, it’s not particularly attractive, it’s not agile, fast or particularly good at cornering. But then it wasn’t designed to be. It’s just…fun, and sometimes, when faced with the ‘ruggedness’ of off-road pursuit, it’s easy to forget that.
Well I managed not to hit the well, but I’ve stalled the engine again. Think that’s enough for today, since I can’t stop my hands shaking. It might be a while before I have another drive like this.
Technical specifications available on page 3
